A tree doesn't need anyone to tell it how to be a tree. Given what it does need (Sunshine, clean water, fresh air and some good earth to grow in) it naturally grows and unfolds its unique potential in connection with the rest of the world.
Growing up and meeting the challenging environments of our own lives, we haven't always had what we've needed to do this. Harmful relationships, non-supportive cultures and belief-systems, and even trauma can keep us out of this special relationship of authentic connection with ourselves, others, and the world around us.
Life wants to keep moving forward. You can see that when you look at grass growing through the cracks in a sidewalk, or in a tree which, having been through a wildfire, sends its tender shoots up again into the clear day.
When we come together for therapy, we'll work to help these nascent shoots grow and flower and bear fruit in your life. It may suffering of one form or another that's bringing you to seek help, or it may be a desire for a fuller, more authentic way of being. Discovering freedom can mean many things to many different people.
Just like a tree has specific needs if it is to flourish, so do people. We start with safety. That means physical and emotional. Without the feeling of safety in a relationship (therapeutic or otherwise), reaching out and taking the chances that growth requires tends not to happen. It takes time to trust, and it takes the right kind of care. Good therapeutic boundaries help to establish this safety. We go at your pace, and we trust your sense of what feels safe. Challenging established patterns is part of effective therapy, but feeling endangered is definitely not!
Emotionally, we'll work to bring compassionate, non-judgmental engagement to whatever is arising, especially when what's arising is part of a growth edge, or if it's difficult. A big part of therapy is addressing what's not working within the therapeutic relationship, but for some this can be a challenge. It's my job to invite your full experience into the room, especially if you feel I've missed you, or made a mistake. You get to tell me what's working and what isn't. Mistakes are inevitable, but when held within the framework of an ongoing relationship, and processed well, even they can be a tremendous source of growth!
As a somatically-oriented therapist, I work holistically. Part of this means honoring the communications of the whole system, including the body. Our bodies often speak that part of our experience that words can't quite yet express. Bringing this voice of the body into the therapy room can take many forms, and can even include touch. Again, safety is the first goal, so any touch-oriented interactions occur at your pace. We'll also take time to talk about what these interactions bring up for you, and you always get to say "No" if something doesn't feel quite right.
Just like an acorn grows into an oak tree, unfolding along the lines of its own truth, the seeds of your growth are within you. Our goal is to find what's gotten stuck, and help it to begin to reach out once again. Suffering points the way. Suffering is what says "something here isn't working". When something hurts, or isn't working for us, and we start to get curious about it, a space opens up for healing. Ways of being that used to get us through the day wear out, or they don't quite fit the realities of our present-day lives, and this can be the start of something beautiful! The suffering and the pressure that we feel inside are like a growing sprout pushing against the shell that's helped keep it safe up to that point. The pain which brings you to therapy, held correctly, can be a sign pointing the way home.
Even though the healing comes from within, sometimes we need help. Our perceptions, beliefs, and what we "know" are all part of the very shell that keeps us stuck. These are formed through our experience, and it takes new experiences to challenge these old stuck places. Together, with safe, compassionate engagement we'll work to foster these experiences, challenging the "known" and inviting a deeper, more authentic truth into the world to grow beyond the walls of our suffering and discover more freedom.
If you'd like to discuss the possibility of walking this path with me, please contact me so we can have a conversation about your needs, and so I can answer any questions you might have. This initial consultation is free.
I wish you happiness, health, and peace!
-Dan